Getting to know someone new can be tricky. Getting to know a female? Trickier. Granted, we can be a little complicated and there are multiple ways that you could get off on the wrong foot if you’re too careless. That being said, maybe these basic tips can help tide over any awkwardness.
1. ‘READ HER SIGNS & BODY LANGUAGE’
I can’t stress this enough. A girl will make you a priority if she’s interested in you. If she isn’t, there are certain tell-tale signs that you begin to notice. For Instance,
- She takes forever to respond to your texts
- She offers you one word answers
- Avoids eye contact
- Positions her body away from you
Once this happens, as Our Good Lord says, shake the dust off your feet & cloak and MOVE. You’d be wasting your time and hers otherwise.
NB: Shoutouts to the guys that carry on regardless and end up resorting to insults.
2. ‘TAKE INITIATIVE’
Some guys make the mistake of allowing the conversation to die off once the girl finishes whatever point she was making. Avoid relying on small talk. That ish gets real old, real quick. If there’s a lull in the convo, tell her about a recent event in your life and try to find common interests. Use open-ended questions (‘What kind of music do you like?’) instead of simple yes/no questions (‘Do you listen to music?’) to prolong the conversation. Trust me, the more entertaining you are, the more likely she would be incredibly eager to talk to you.
3. ‘STAY POSITIVE’
A nice smile really goes a long way. Try to make her feel happy when she’s around you. Compliments work great in this scenario. I personally like a guy with a great sense of humour. Keep the convo light and avoid serious/sad topics. Please. BIKO. Don’t start ranting to me about your disrespectful colleague or your spiritual problems or how your parents never beat you enough as a kid. We don’t know each other that well yet for me to sincerely convey the right response.
4. ‘AVOID SEXY/INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS’
Huge turn off. It’s too soon and our budding friendship is still too fragile for you to comfortably tell me that you dream about sucking on my toes. My toes, by the way, are regularly doused in holy water, thank you very much. For the love of all things sacred, never send any suggestive or explicit texts. They WILL be ignored, deleted or laughed at. Worse case scenario, she’ll carry your matter and spice it up as gist for her friends, who would dub you as ‘Mr Sexy’ for posterity.
5. ‘BE SMART ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY AND HOW YOU SAY IT’
To illustrate this point, I’ll outline the 1st conversation I had with a guy who asked for my number at a wedding:
HIM: Is that you in your dp? You look bigger in person. Did you add weight recently?
HIM: Oh okay. You’re still fine sha. But if you lost weight, you’d look sexier.
At this point, I just stopped responding. If I wanted to be petty, I would have mentioned how his bald spot appeared larger in person too. But what can we say, home training #ChildofGod. Moral of the story? Be respectful. Be subtle. Overall, have sense.
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