1. ‘I’LL HOLD YOUR MONEY FOR YOU’. You will never see that money again sis.

2. ‘TELL ME THE TRUTH, I WON’T BEAT YOU’. The Mike Tyson of all lies.

3. ‘ALWAYS ON YOUR PHONE! DON’T YOU KNOW IT CAN CAUSE CANCER?!’. I think I’ll risk it.

4. ‘WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I USED TO TREK 12 MILES TO GO TO SCHOOL’. I did not enter this world to suffer.

5. ‘I WAS ALWAYS 1ST IN MY CLASS’. But Mama Nonso always tells me the same thing, so who’s lying?

6. ‘SEX? YOU WERE DELIVERED TO US BY AN ANGEL OF GOD!’ I always knew my biology teacher was lying.

7. ‘WE’LL LEAVE IN 2 MINS’. No one can tell me 2 mins and 2 hours aren’t the same in an African household.

8. ‘IF YOU MISBEHAVE, YOU WON’T GET ANY PRESENTS FROM FATHER CHRISTMAS’. I already saw my present ‘Father Christmas’, so calm yourself.

9. ‘I DIDN’T KILL MY PARENTS, SO YOU WON’T KILL ME’. Wouldn’t dream of it. My pocket money is very important to me.

Last Last, I’m planning to use these lines on my children in the future. The Culture must be maintained. We still love our parents though. Bless them.

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