2K Subscribers!!!

The Jaded Blog Project (JBP) recently passed 2000 followers (Yay!! One Goal Struck Off The List!!) & I would like to say thank you.

Thank you for taking time out of your busy schdeule to read my posts. For leaving positive comments and feedback both on the blog & via my social media platforms. They keep me going and your encouragement is something of immeasurable value to me.

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Attending Events: Your Younger Self Vs Your Older Self

1. ARRIVALS

Younger Self: Any party is fair game. Doesn’t matter if you don’t know the celebrant(s). Doesn’t matter what time the event is supposed to start, you’ll be there whenever you choose to show up. You could even show up at the last minute & still find a way to turn up, because you’re part of the ‘Party All Night‘ gang.

Older Self: If you’re not notified about the event weeks in advance, you’re not going anywhere. You have to know the celebrant(s). You’ve already decided the times you’re arriving and leaving. You probably won’t even spend that long at the event because you want to go home as soon as possible.

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How To Spot A First Time Baller

Money is sweet. Those who’ve always had it sometimes take it for granted. For those that just came into a large ass sum of money for the first time in their lives, there are certain signs you can use to pick them out.

1. NEW PERSONA

First, replace your accent. The only acceptable accents would be an American one or a British one. Next to go? Your name. Chukwuma is dead, you will now be reborn as Damien. Damien Eze. Dammy for short. Mama Put stalls are now beneath you, it’ll be expensive restaurants and lounges from now on. Now how would you like your drink sir? Shaken Not Stirred? Excellent choice. And your car? Scrap that economic Nissan for a bright red Maserati. You deserve it.

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7 Stupid Mistakes People Make In Horror Movies

One finds it easy to lose their self in horror films. But if you watch closely, you’ll find that certain deaths and accidents could have been avoided if characters didn’t make certain mistakes.

1. WALKING TOWARDS A WEIRD NOISE

You’re obviously alone at home, at night, & you start to hear a scraping sound coming from the back of the house. What do you do? Oyibo people will form brave and brandish a flash light, just to go trapezing around in the dark to discover the source of the noise. We know better. Me, I won’t even wait for the noise to finish. I’m already out the door with my phone & wallet. It’s not me that you’ll kill. The police can handle this one.

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The Wonderful Characteristics Of A Nigerian Wedding

Weddings are a whole other affair in Nigeria. And it wouldn’t be a Nigerian wedding if the following factors didn’t come into play.

1. LATENESS

It specifically says on the invite that the ‘Reception Starts at 1pm‘. What time do guests start arriving? 3 – 4pm. Everyone wants to be fashionably late. Even the wedding party itself will be late. I once went to a wedding where the bridal party arrived so late that the party Jellof rice had decongealed back to plain white rice & red stew. The only people that do come early are the caterers and the decorators. They don’t need anyone stressing their lives about being on time. Me, I come early to secure my parking space & a prime seat next to the buffet table. Priorities.

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