Favourite Phrases Of Nigerian Lecturers

1. ‘THIS TOPIC IS NOT IMPORTANT’. Na lie, that topic is the basis for that number 1 compulsory question.

2. ‘SOME OF YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED’. Sir, all I did was write my name on the answer booklet.

3. ‘IN MY COURSE, C IS FOR THE FEW BRILLIANT ONES, B IS FOR THAT ONE GENIUS & A IS FOR GOD’. Just say you don’t want to pass me shekina.

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4. ‘I WAS ONCE A STUDENT LIKE YOU. WE TOOK THINGS SERIOUSLY BACK THEN. ALL YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO DO NOW IS SNAPCHAT AND TWITTER’. Don’t forget Instagram ma, Inclusion is key.

5.’SOME OF YOU COME TO SCHOOL JUST TO WASTE YOUR SCHOOL FEES’. Is it your money? Is it your school fees?

6. ‘YOU’RE AN UNSERIOUS PERSON. DO YOU THINK YOU’LL MAKE IT IN LIFE?’ I hope I do because I have expensive taste.

7. ‘IF YOU LIKE, DONT BUY MY BOOK. BUT WHEN YOU FAIL, DON’T COME TO MY OFFICE TO ASK WHY’. Just because of 2k book, I’ll risk getting a carryover? God forbid. Oga bring it, I’ll buy.

8. ‘DO YOU THINK YOU’LL GRADUATE THIS YEAR?’ I’m afraid to ask if this is a rhetorical question.

9. ‘KEEP LAUGHING. I HOPE YOU’LL LAUGH WHEN YOU SEE YOUR RESULTS’. Some people just lack joy in their lives.

10. ‘YOU SHOULD HAVE USED YOUR SCHOOL FEES TO START A PURE WATER BUSINESS’. You think the thought didn’t cross my mind?

11. ‘SOME OF YOU WITH NO ATTENDANCE HAVE FAILED ALREADY. DON’T BOTHER PRAYING’. Well that’s a load of my mind. Might as well enjoy myself #parteafterparte

12. ‘IF YOU MUST FAIL, AT LEAST FAIL HONOURABLY’. Madam, do you think our politicians got to where they are now by following this motto?

13. ‘YOU JUST CAME HERE TO OCCUPY SPACE & NOTHING MORE’. So I’m under no obligation to listen to you. Better is better.


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