1. ARITHMOPHOBIA: FEAR OF NUMBERS
To all the people I know who did everything they could to avoid Math lessons back in school, I apologise. I didn’t know this was an actual condition. To be fair, I find the number ‘419’ frightening. For obvious reasons.
2. BIBLIOPHOBIA: FEAR OF BOOKS
Why do I feel like people just use this as an excuse not to study? But then I recall that John Wick once killed someone by dislocating their jaw & breaking their neck with a book, so this phobia is justified.
3. PENTHERAPHOBIA: FEAR OF YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW
The fear of your mummy-in-law is the beginning of wisdom. Just ask Patience Ozokwor. She really did a number on us. Even now, I still refuse to eat any kind of food served to me by a smiling person. Why so happy?
4. GENUPHOBIA: FEAR OF KNEES
I actually had to look down at my knees when I saw this. Imagine flashing your knees at someone & traumatising them for life. It’s both horrible and a little insulting to be honest. What have my knees ever done to you? They’re cute enough to cure you, so get it together.
5. BATHMOPHOBIA: FEAR OF STAIRS OR STEEP SLOPES
This is me. This is very much me. I think I actually start to panic at the thought of climbing a very steep slope. I’ll never forget the time I almost died climbing 183 steps just to reach the top of Covent Garden Tube Station. Don’t ask me why they needed 183 steps. Funny, ANOTHER number that’s traumatic for me.
6. DENTOPHOBIA: FEAR OF DENTISTS
I mean, honestly, who isn’t afraid of their dentist? Mine’s awesome, but that doesn’t mean I look forward to having him put a drill in my mouth every 6 months. Well, it’s either that or cavities, so we what? We move……No, actually we don’t. Sit your butt back in that chair and fix your teeth, you coward.
7. ECOPHOBIA: FEAR OF THE HOME
I wonder how this phobia works. Is it fear of your own home or homes in general? Does the word ‘Home’ actually trigger you? Do you just sleep in hotels or you lie in fear in your house every night, waiting for daylight to hit before you can leave? Must be tough. I can’t relate, thank goodness.
8. HIPPOPOTOMONSTROSESQUIPEDIALIOPHOBIA: FEAR OF LONG WORDS
This one dey touch sha. Even typing out the word was stressful enough. I feel like everyone has this phobia. Imagine being called upon to give a reading & there’s a long ass word in the script that you can’t pronounce. I would skip it, because I didn’t come here to embarrass myself. Mtcheww.
What’s your Phobia?
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