1. WHEN YOU’RE WATCHING A MOVIE WITH YOUR PARENTS & A LOVE SCENE COMES ON. I see nothing, I hear nothing, I know nothing.
2. WHEN IT’S ALL QUIET IN A CROWDED ROOM & YOUR STOMACH DECIDES TO START GROWLING. Personally I find that a quick punch to the gut solves this problem
3. WAVING AT SOMEONE YOU THOUGHT WAS WAVING AT YOU, BUT IT TURNS OUT THEY WERE WAVING AT THE PERSON BEHIND YOU. Pretend like you never waved in the 1st place. Dignity restored.
4. WHEN YOU CRACK A JOKE AND NO ONE LAUGHS. …………*flexes koboko* So……a laugh or a one way 1st class ticket to heaven? Take your pick.
5. WHEN SOMEONE YOU DON’T REMEMBER ASKS YOU TO RECOUNT HOW THE TWO OF YOU KNOW EACH OTHER. You just want to get your feelings hurt abi?
6. WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE YOU KNOW & YOU DON’T WANT TO GREET THEM, SO YOU PRETEND NOT TO NOTICE THEM. Please let us both uphold the pretence & ignore each other in peace.
7. WHEN YOU’RE TALKING & SOMEONE INTERRUPTS/TALKS OVER YOU. ………..Where did I keep that koboko again? Some people lack respect.
8. WHEN YOU TRY TO PAY WITH YOUR CARD & IT GETS DECLINED. Sister, don’t look at me like that. I have money. Try am again.
9. WHEN YOU’RE HALF ASLEEP IN A MEETING & YOUR BOSS ASKS YOU A QUESTION. Sir, you and I both know I wasn’t listening. Drop the matter & move on.
10. WHEN YOU GO TO GREET SOMEONE YOU THINK YOU KNOW, BUT IT TURNS OUT TO BE A RANDOM STRANGER. Just kill the doppelganger and be done with it.
11. WHEN YOUR PASTOR STARTS PREACHING ABOUT A PATRICULAR SIN YOU KNOW YOU COMMITTED A FEW MOMENTS AGO.
Pastor: All Thieves Will Go To Hell!!
Me: *quietly replaces the N200 I picked earlier from the floor*
THANKS FOR READING!!
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