What To Expect During The Christmas Season

Que the music, it’s that time of the year again, were we’re all supposed to be merry, jolly or whatever it is that society dictates to us so that we don’t end up on the Naughty List with no presents. Personally, I wouldn’t mind being a Grinch this year because there’s nothing festive about NHIS people lurking around my neighbourhood, waiting for me to leave my house so that I can become an unfortunate lab-rat for their new and improved palliative (They’ve taken off their uniforms and are now going about in plain clothes…….Mumu-ism is contagious this period). Anyway, like I was saying, there’s just something about the month of December in general that instills in everyone a certain ginger to outdo themselves. As of such, as soon as the 1st of December rolls around, you start to notice some tell-tale signs that the Christmas Mania is about to begin.

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StoryTime: Shopping Shenanigans

It’s that time of the week again. StoryTime! If you’re new to this segment, StoryTime is a part of my blog, posted every Friday, where I relate the random experiences, mine or otherwise, that may or may not be fictional. Your job is to decide which is which.

DISCLAIMER: CHARACTER NAMES AND PLACES MAY BE ALTERED FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SEGMENT. ANY SIMITLARITIES BETWEEN SAID CHARACTERS AND REAL LIFE INDIVIDUALS ARE COMPLETELY COINCEDENTAL.

For this StoryTime, we’re going to be talking about a topic so controversial, so thought-provoking, so outlandish…..yes that’s right, I’m talking about Shopping!………Don’t give me that look okay? Shopping is a very stressful, serious business, ill-fitted for the faint of heart. So get off your high horse and have a read. Let’s see if you can make the right deduction this time round.

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12 Things I Want For Christmas

Don’t you just love the festive season? Already the lights and trees are up, the snow is…….Sorry, for a minute I forgot where I was. I meant the sun is brighter and hotter than usual and people are walking around deceiving themselves that they’re better people when come January, they’ll revert back to their original mumu nature (But that’s a story for another time. Let’s press on). When I was younger, I used to write out Christmas lists to Santa Claus (aka My parents. My father was Santa, my mum was Claus. I wasn’t stupid. I knew how these things worked). I was always frugal with my wishes (good child things) because I knew they would most likely be granted if they were reasonable enough. But now, screw reason. I’m an adult. I can finally get whatever I want because I just found out that Santa is real! Lord do I plan to suck the man dry. Years of suppression and rubbish gifts have led me to this golden moment. What do I need again? Oh yeah, pen…check, paper…check, envelope…check, postage stamps…check, dignity and self restraint………..b***h please. On to my list!

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StoryTime: Restaurant Troubles

It’s that time of the week again. StoryTime! If you’re new to this segment, StoryTime is a part of my blog, posted every Friday, where I relate the random experiences, mine or otherwise, that may or may not be fictional. Your job is to decide which is which.

DISCLAIMER: CHARACTER NAMES AND PLACES MAY BE ALTERED FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SEGMENT. ANY SIMITLARITIES BETWEEN SAID CHARACTERS AND REAL LIFE INDIVIDUALS ARE COMPLETELY COINCEDENTAL.

It’s been a while since our last StoryTime, so hopefully your sense have dulled since then and you’ll be able to make the right deduction. And what will we be talking about today? Food! Or to be more specific, the worst encounter I’ve ever had at a restaurant (if they still have the liver to call themselves a restaurant). So without further ado, let’s get into it, shall we?

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The Sorting Hat Quiz: Naija Version

To my fellow Harry Potter & Pottermore associates, I greet you. How did you find the weekend? Nah, I don’t care, let’s talk about me. I enjoyed my weekend, particularly as I spent a good chunk of it reliving youthful memories by watching old movies. I managed to get as far as the 4th HP movie before I succumbed to absolute laziness and it got me thinking: Imagine if we had a School of Witchcraft & Wizardry in Nigeria? Regardless of the fact that the government would find some way to turn that fantasy into an ill-managed nightmare, we have multiple Juju masters all over the country who are always ready to take on new initiates. So, being the sweet person that I am, I decided to come up with my own quiz, to act as a guide to point you towards which Juju faction would suit you best. You will be sorted into the following 4 houses accordingly:

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